Ideal woman, ideal man - I
Ideal woman, ideal man (part I)
RATIONALE
The existence of gender roles is often considered as “natural or biological”. The activity aims at deconstructing this idea and identifying how the rigidity of gender roles is harmful to all genders.
RESOURCES
- Time: 90+minutes
- Materials: youth magazines, newspapers, women’s and men’s lifestyle magazines, sports magazines or advertising clippings, flipchart with paper, scissors, glue sticks, red, blue, green and black markers for the flipchart
- Preparation: prepare flipchart papers one of each that have the following heading: MEN (written with blue marker) and WOMEN (written with red marker)
INSTRUCTIONS
Step 1 – Gender Roles
- Divide participants into groups. If the composition of the group allows, you may decide to create single-sex groups and assign the collection of gender roles according to sexes.
- Present the magazines or clippings and the flipchart papers with MEN and WOMEN on top.
- Introduce the exercise by asking the whole group to give a few examples about messages that young people receive on how “real men” and “real women” are supposed to be (e.g. “men should be strong and have a good job” or “women should be good mothers and monogamous or with not many partners”).
- After receiving a few answers, explain that the group will now work in two sub-groups, one brainstorming on men, the other on women. They should look through the magazines and clippings, and use them as illustration whenever possible. Also tell them that they should not limit themselves to what they have found in the magazines, but think of their own childhood and later on, and contribute with the messages they have received about what men and women should be like.
- Sub-groups should preferably choose separate locations, facilitator to monitor the process.
- When the sub-groups are ready, bring them back to one group, and make a quick round of the first impressions about the activity so far.
- Ask groups to present their collages and during the presentation write down the different qualities of men and women on a new flipchart. Ask both groups to add some more to the lists that they feel are missing. Guide the creation of the list by asking questions, if any major category is missing from the list (such as physical appearance, professional life, hobbies, private life, sex life...).
The result should be something like this:
MEN
- strong
- manager
- sporty
- tall
- clever
- intelligent
- does not show emotions (apart from anger)
- tough
- rich
- successful
- father
- muscular
- heterosexual
- faithful
- had many girlfriends
- (can be) polygamous
- active
- competent
- breadwinner
- protects the weak, esp. women
- hairy chest - daring
- hits back
- brave
- creative - potent - winner
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WOMEN
- (good) mother
- pretty
- married
- sexy
- monogamous
- virgin(-like)
- passive
- (good) house- keeper
- fertile
- cheerful
- has big breasts
- long hair
- graceful
- takes care of her body
- thin
- less clever than boyfriend
- no body hair
- patient
- sexually experienced
- nonviolent
- keeps traditions - dresses well
- obedient
- family-centered - silent
- seductive
- caretaker
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- After the creation of the final "portrait" of the "Ideal man” and the "Ideal woman”, you will make a box around each of the lists (“man” and “woman”) and ask the participants:
- Does this portrait fit the stereotypical image of man and woman that exists in society?
- How much do you, as male or female, fully identify with the portraits?
- Can you give some examples of people who do not or cannot fit into these boxes?
- How does society “punishes” people who do not want or cannot fit into these boxes? What is said to these people? What is done to them? (Facilitator will also write the responses, and categorise them into: verbal, psychological, physical, sexual and social/economical groups)
Step 2 – Inequality of women and men
- Ask the group to find matching opposites in the men and women boxes circle and connect them with black marker: e.g. “polygamous – monogamous”, “earns well - family-centred”. Based on these, ask participants to say who has the more freedom or power or privilege in society.
- Ask participants:
- “Where do we learn these gender roles?”. Make a new flipchart with their answers (e.g. from parents, kindergarten, school, peers, friends, media - press, magazines, TV, commercials, music, movies, books, literature, science, fairy tales, religion, holy scripts, history books, popular psychology).
- “Are these roles the same in every country/region? Do you see people breaking these roles and still be happy/successful/accomplished”
- “If these roles come naturally, why are they different from place to place?”
- “How can these roles influence our idea of success or failure?”
- “Can you give examples of men or women using these roles for getting a personal advantage?”
DEBRIEFING AND EVALUATION
- What were your feelings participating in this activity? How do you feel seeing the portraits?
- How can this activity help us understand gender roles and their influence?
- What did you learn from this activity?
Adapted from Creighton, A. and Kivel, P. (1990). Helping Teens Stop Violence. A practical guide for educators, counsellors and parents. Hunter House, Alameda
Ideal woman, ideal man - II
Ideal woman, ideal man(part II)
RATIONALE
Unlike the sex of the person, which refers to biological differences between men and women that are the same no matter the culture, gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture considers as masculine or feminine. It is important to understand and differentiate what are the natural differences between sexes and what are the differences imposed by society.
RESOURCES
Time: 30 – 40 min
Materials: a set of “facts about men and women” (see annex) for each team of 3-4 participants, one full list of “facts about men and women” for the trainer.
INSTRUCTIONS
- Divide the participants into teams of 3-4 persons.
- Distribute the tickets with facts about men and women. Inform participants that these are statistical facts, and some of them may differ from country to country.
- Ask participants to divide these tickets into 2 groups:
- The situations that occur because of natural/biological reasons (and are the same no matter of the country/region/culture)
- The situations that occur because of the roles men and women should assume in different societies?
Offer 10 minutes for this.
- Ask participants to regroup. Divide the flipchart in 2. Read each statement one by one and ask participants to say in which category they have placed it. Check if different groups have different opinions and why. When this occurs try to understand the reasons behind each opinion asking what are the biological or cultural factors that are generating this situation. Once you get to a consensus, write the statement on the corresponding side.
- On top of the naturally occurring differences between men and women, write “Sex” and on top of the second half write “Gender”.
- Ask participants how many of them considered the words “Sex” and “Gender” as synonyms.
- Present another flipchart where you have written: “Sex = male or female” , “Gender = masculine and feminine”, “Man = Male + Masculine role”, “Woman = Female + Feminine role”. Ask participants what do they think about this relationship.
DEBRIEFING AND EVALUATION
- Can you make a difference between sex and gender?
- What does this exercise teaches us about the roles women and men must assume in society?
- How and why do you think these roles are created in society?
- How do society expectations on women and men can influence their life?
- When do these gender roles can become dangerous?
- What are the necessary conditions for people to be less influenced by the gender roles imposed by society? What can be done starting from the policy level? What can be done starting from the society level (write these answers on the flipcharts).
HANDOUTS
On average, men are taller than women
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On average, men have greater muscular strength
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On average, voice of men has a lower pitch (tonality) than voice of women
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Women give birth to babies, men do not
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Most of the women have long hair and most of the men have short hair
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On average, men have more body hair than women
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On average, men have bigger body dimensions than women
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On average, men are better paid than women
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On average, more men have a job than women
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On average, men have more sexual partners than women
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On average, men are less often victims of domestic violence than women
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On average, men are taking less often paternal leave (time off from work for raising the children)
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On average, men do less household duties than women
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On average, men are more often the decision makers in the family
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On average, there are more male politicians
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Gender across cultures
Gender across cultures
RATIONALE
The fact that most countries of the world adopted a patriarchal system, leads to the idea that this is a natural way it is meant to be. Still, even in present days, there are societies who do not embrace this system or who have chose to change it to a more balanced one, proving that gender roles are not fixed.
RESOURCES
Time: 60 - 90 min
Materials: hand outs describing gender roles in different cultures, 1 flipchart and markers for each of the 3 groups
INSTRUCTIONS
- Divide participants into 3 groups and give each group one of the hand-outs describing gender roles in different cultures (Mosuo, Minangkabau and Iceland)
- Ask participants to read the information on the hand-outs. Also, have them answer in groups the following questions:
- Is the culture presented similar to the one in their countries? What are the main similarities and differences that they observe?
- Did they imagine that such a system/such transformations might exist in the world?
- How would it be for them to live in such a culture?
- Ask participants to prepare in the groups a short presentation of that culture.
- Reconvene the participants and have each group present their assigned culture.
DEBRIEFING AND EVALUATION
- What was it like to learn about the 3 cultures?
- What were the main similarities and differences you observed compared to your culture?
- Why do you think these differences exist?
- Why do you think you don’t have a similar situation in your country/community?
- Was it anything surprising that you found out during the exercise?
- What does this exercise teaches us about the roles women and men in society?
- (Optional) Present the 2017 ranking of the happiest countries in the world, and their corresponding ranking in terms of gender equality. Ask participants what can they observe. Is it a coincidence that the happiest countries also rank high in terms of gender equality?
World happiest countries (2017) |
Global gender gap ranking (2017)– out of more than 140 countries |
1. Norway |
2nd |
2. Denmark |
14th |
3. Iceland |
1st |
4. Switzerland |
22nd |
5. Finland |
3rd |
- Does anyone want to share a personal reflection about this activity?
HANDOUTS
Mosuo culture
The Mosuo are a ethnic group living in Yunnan and Sichuan Provinces in China, close to the border with Tibet.
The matriarch (“Ah mi” or “elder female”) is the head of the house. The Ah mi has absolute power and she decides the fate of all those living under her roof. Women are responsible for much of the work done around the house and financial decisions. The matriarch also manages the money and jobs of each family member.
When the Ah mi wishes to pass her duties on to the next generation, she will give her female successor the keys to the household storage, signifying the passing on of property rights and responsibility.
Walking marriages are the most prominent form of marriage in Mosuo culture. In a walking marriage, during the day, both partners live separately under the roof of their own family; however, at night it is common for the man to visit and stay at the women's house (if given permission) until sunrise.
Mosuo families tend to trace their lineage through the female side of the family. Occasionally, in fact, they may not know who the father of a child is. Unlike in most societies, this does not carry a stigma. The father doesn’t raise children of parents who have a walking marriage. The brothers of the mother (maternal uncles) in the marriage take on the responsibilities of the father since the father isn’t typically around during the daytime.
It is possible for a Mosuo woman to change partners as often as she likes and the Na language (used by the Mosuo) has no word for 'jealousy'.
Considering women are responsible for most domestic jobs and that they have the larger role in the walking marriage, they are viewed with more respect and importance in this society.
Source: wikipedia
Minangkabau
Minangkabau people also known as Minang, are an ethnic group indigenous to the Minangkabau Highlands of West Sumatra, Indonesia. The Minangkabau strongly profess to Islam while at the same time also follow their ethnic traditions, or Adat.
Women hold a relatively advantageous position in their society, as most property and other economic assets pass though female lines. Historically, and through the customary Adat, women control the land, the property, and the workers.
It is customary for the female and her family to be involved in most of the wedding plans, including making the marriage proposal.
After marriage, the bride does not go to the groom's house but stays at her mother's home. The husband moves his possessions to his wife's house, to prove that he is man of substance. The groom normally brings his own bed, chairs, and other necessities of comfort for his stay with his wife in her room and in her family house. However, as per community custom, he stays with his sisters even after marriage and visits his wife's house only at night.
The children take the surname of their mother.
While the chief of the village is male, he is often chosen based on his connections to the women of the village, as is his successor. In fact, the structure of entire towns and villages is often based upon the relationships among and between the women of prominent families.
Iceland
On October 24, 1975, Icelandic women went on strike for the day to “demonstrate the indispensable work of women for Iceland’s economy and society” and to “protest wage discrepancy and unfair employment practices.” Participants, led by women’s organizations, did not go to their paid jobs and did not do any housework or child-caring for the whole day. 90% of women took part, including those in rural communities. Many industries shut down for the day as a result. There was no telephone service and newspapers were not printed since the typesetters were all women. Theatres shut down for the day as actresses refused to work. The majority of teachers were women so schools either closed or “operated at limited capacity.” Flights got cancelled since the flight attendants did not come into work and bank executives had to work as tellers to keep the banks open on this day.
The “Day Off” opened the eyes of many men who referred to it as “the long Friday.” In 1976, Iceland’s parliament passed a law guaranteeing equal rights for women and men.
In 1980, Iceland’s Vigdís Finnbogadóttir, a divorced single mother, became the world’s first democratically elected female president. She stepped down in 1996 after four terms in office.
After the 2016 elections, more than 45% of members of the Parliament were women. In 2018, 45% of Government Minsters are women.
Starting 2018 it is illegal to pay women less than men for a similar position. More than 40% of company board members are women.
The total parental leave period is nine months long. Each parent has three months leave which is non-transferable and in addition the parents can divide three months, as they like. During their leave parents who have been working full time receive 80% of their former salary up to a certain ceiling. Fathers have grasped this opportunity with enthusiasm and around 90% use their paternal leave.
In 2016, there were 19 primary and nursery schools, empowering girls from an early age. In these schools, girls are not taught to play with dolls and imaginary kitchens. Instead, they are taught to have initiative, show courage and have critical thinking.
The country is ranked as 3rd happiest country the world, a ranking that takes into account both social and economic data.
TASK 1
Address these discussion questions:
- Is the culture presented similar to the one in your country? What are the main similarities and differences that you observe?
- Did you imagine that such a system/such transformations may exist in the world?
- How would it be for you to live in such a culture?
TASK 2
Prepare in the group a short presentation of the culture you received.